1. Pre Game Texturizing Spray 2. Ellie Love Dress 3. Good Golly 4. Judy

Gonna dance with a dolly with a hole in her stockin’, while our knees keep a-knockin’ and our toes keep a-rockin’, dance with a dolly with a hole in her stockin’, dance by the light of the moon.

Getting all dolled up doesn’t have to be a big production. You don’t have to be that girl with the knockout dress, killer heels, time-consuming hairdo, and bright red lipstick to be that girl. You can be that girl just by being your sweet self.

What’s better than a dress covered with elephants? A dress covered with pairs of elephants in love, triumphantly entwining their trunks overhead in hearts. The Ellie Love Dress is a symphony rendered in notes of feather-light polyester chiffon, with a modest neckline, mid-thigh skirt length, and an unexpected peekaboo cut-out back. The brick red hue is deep enough to stand out and soft enough to do so unostentatiously. Pair it with the Good Golly sunglasses, another exercise in look-at-me-but-not-too-much, and a unique but effective way to minimize your chances of developing glaucoma later in life.

For a little boost to help keep those heels a rockin’ and knees a knockin’, slip into the Judy t-straps. We see a lot of vintage-inspired clothing come through our doors, but very rarely does a shoe so authentically echo an era as the Judy sings of the roaring 20′s. Once you slip these puppies on your dogs, it will take a lot of stern dedication to keep your knees from going breezy.

Finish the look with three spritzes of A Beautiful Life’s Pre Game Texturizing Spray, an effortless product that adds tousled texture, a refreshing seaside scent, and just the right amount of Je ne sais quois, or, more appropriately and worlds more interesting, Je m’en fous.

1. Sweet Caroline Dress  2. Straight as an Arrow Ring  3. Barelle  4. Mini Explorer

Up, up, and away! Of all the dress-up games you can play, 1960′s airline stewardess really takes the cake. It’s fun, it’s crisp, and it knows how to be playful and sexy without being skanky. And by appropriating the evocative garments and accessories showcased above to live out your fly fantasy, you don’t have to even glance at the ugly reality. For a short time in your 20′s, didn’t it occur to you that airline stewardess would be the perfect job? Your life would be full of glamorous travel, for free! You’d get to stay in hundreds of foreign cities, for free! You’d get to be on the move and meet exciting people every day– and get PAID to do it! Then when you seriously consider it, you realize that maybe if you’re going to be in customer service, you don’t want to do it thousands of feet in the air in a metal box from which you cannot eject the unruly passenger whose parents failed to effectively teach him, “Don’t touch women’s bodies unless they invite you to,” while wearing pleated-front khaki pants and a polo shirt, never being able to enjoy the cities you travel through outside of airports and cereal box hotels, and getting what little sleep you are permitted in a strange bed every night. Like the medieval princess or the G.I. Jane, airline stewardess is a job that has a much more rewarding fantasy life than its tremendously strenuous counterpart in reality.  And, all together now, how do we manage to indulge our flights of fantasy while not interrupting our very busy, very practical lives? WE DRESS THE PART!

The Sweet Caroline Dress is a one-piece wonder, a jet-setting uniform in vibrant orange, white and blue that demands of you to stand at attention and put your best foot forward. It is impossible to not stand up straight in this dress. It’s like wearing a good grade. Oh, you put this dress on? You get an A+. Head of the class. FIRST class. You’re thinking, “Sure, it’s wicked cute and everything, but is it really that special?” Yes, it is. Fasten your seatbelt. See, it has two pockets. Not just one. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most women’s garments manufactured after 1990 that make any effort to have a breast pocket do it by gluing on one flaccid little square in a randomly awkward place and farting it out into the world where millions of young, unsuspecting American women find it and come to believe that that is as good as a pocket gets. No. No, no, NO. These are pockets. Slightly more diminutive than the breast pocket on a menswear garment, these little guys are still big enough to functionally hold a chapstick, a lighter, a handkerchief, a something. And there are two. This is important. Because with two of them, you get two sets of that smart contrast detailing, and you get symmetry. Human beings subconsciously love symmetry. When humans subconsciously love the symmetry of your breast pockets, you might find that they will be subconsciously nicer to you as well. They might subconsciously hold the door for you, or remember to say please, or give you a raise. And you thought fashion was frivolous.

A 1960′s airline stewardess always looks impossibly pulled together. It’s actually quite possible to look very pulled together, and much easier than you would suspect. Remember matching? You get a lot of talk about “coordinating pieces” and “mixing textures and patterns” these days, but the idea of matching has been brushed to the wayside. Take advantage of this, and be the one person in the cacophonous crowd who really looks like she gets it. Put the Barelles on your feet and they’ll give you a beauteous retro vibe along with the comfort of a platform, while their Florida orange hue sweetly ties in with your tangerine secretary’s bow.

We like to travel light, and there’s nothing better for it than the classic mini explorer from Pan Am. It fits everything you need, nothing you don’t, and matches your dress more perfectly than a free upgrade. The speedy satchel shape is perfect for holding at the end of one swinging arm while you wave goodbye to your Parisian lover with the other.

To accessorize, keep it clean and simple. Traveling is best when kept as fuss-free as possible. One ring. One ring to rule them all. Consider it your engagement ring to the clear blue sky, and straight as an arrow, fly, fly away.

Graphic by Katie Ide

1. Delaine Dress 2. Sea Salt Soap  3. Austine Trench  4. Resound Platforms 5.  Satellite Shades

The moment I realized I was a fully-fledged, completely grown up adult woman didn’t happen when I left my parents’ house, nor when I graduated college, nor when I moved into my first apartment, nor when I started carrying an organizer and penciling in things like “eat” and “do it”out of necessity, nor on my 30th birthday, nor when I got married, nor when I started craving softer, prettier music, nor when my metabolism came to a screeching halt and my arthritis began feasting on my cartilage with undaunted gusto. No, the moment I realized I was a Woman with a capital W came last week when I looked around the shop and thought to myself, “Wow, I’m really digging all these sophisticated neutrals. I want to wear more khaki and beige.”

Oh god.

No, just kidding, it didn’t actually freak me out. I like growing up. If I didn’t I’d still be wearing a dog collar and DIY ear gauges with low-rise bootcut jeans, pyramid stud everything, hello kitty underwear, and I’d be trimming my crew cut around my single dreadlock. If you can see your lifetime piling up, change is exquisite. Change is glorious. If you could make Lindsay Lohan walk through a doorway and have her emerge on the other side as Katherine Hepburn, you’d be doing good. So if you want to appear youthful, well– stop. Try looking cool, sophisticated, collected, and poised. That’s a look that goes with any age.

The Delaine dress hearkens to the 60′s, a simple but structured shift that begs for a simple but structured updo, in soft shades of toffee cream, blush, and shimmering gold. The neckline is demure but scooped just enough to expose your collarbones, the waistline is nipped in at the natural waist with tidy little darts, and the length falls to mid-thigh, a modernization of the classic wiggle dress. The fabric is weighty and has a luxurious sheen. It’s class all the way. For your outer layer, throw on the easy-breezy Austine trench. In smooth, mushroom-hued microfiber, its unstructured, effortless slouchiness acts as the perfect complement to the primly tailored Delaine. Pairing these two together sort of gives the vibe of Audrey Hepburn having traveled to 1985 to steal Kathleen Turner’s jacket. And as long as the time machine still has fuel, she may as well take a hop, skip and a jump back to the 1970′s to raid Anjelica Houston’s closet for some shoes and grab some sunglasses from Twiggy’s purse. The Resound from Nicole are astoundingly comfortable, shockingly lightweight and walkable, and constructed from leather and natural cork, evoking an intimate and genuine earthiness. If that sounds boring to you, look closer. The smooth neutrality of the cork is broken up with a peppering of bright fluorescent flecks– not enough to clash with anything, and not so many it’s distracting, but exactly the right amount to add the same depth and visual interest to the shoe as freckles add to a pretty face. Protect your pretty face with the Satellite shades. They combine a space age, pop art vibe with today’s 400 UV protection, and they do it all in shades of smoke and water. It’s time to let your graphic tees sink to the bottom of your drawer to become pajamas, time to slough off the dried, crackling vestiges of novelty clothing and don a new era, time to emerge from the shadows of dressing ironically like a dweeby little princess and ascend to the glimmering, tasteful throne of a queen. Girl, you’re a woman now.

Imagine how much more smoothly everything would go without language jumping in the way all the time and complicating things. Scientific fields like biology, astronomy, and medicine could get a little bit tricky so we’ll allow for written communication, but imagine how great it would be if people could never speak out loud to one another. No one could belie the true feelings and intent expressed by their eyes and actions by falsely negating them with their mouths. The act of arguing would become so tedious that everyone would just stop doing it, and being forced to take the time to write out one’s words would encourage people to choose them more carefully. And if Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin films are any indication, deliciously hilarious hijinks would ensue. This week we’re tearing a page out of the silent film playbook to help you step back in time and into a genre where an archly raised eyebrow is all it takes to scorn a fella and where someone will always be ready to swoop in at the last minute to untie you from the train tracks before you get squished.

The Zamora Dress is a simple, gorgeous little statement that looks equally the part of the lady at lunch and the lady on the lam. It combines a classic 50′s silhouette with the easiness of its soft, drapey rayon construction and stands out from the crowd quite a bit, so when you escape from the chain gang and stow away on the good ship Damfino you’ll want to bring along the Tie Waist Coat to cover up and blend in with all the other ladies and gentlemen. In a beautiful shade of ivory cream and with a thick, patterned texture that whispers “touch me”, this jacket is the perfect segue into Spring, standing loud and proud in stark, solid brightness against the grimy dregs of February. You’ll need the pockets to keep your hands warm, so make sure you have your Frisco Handbag in Hobo’s signature buttery-soft leather to stash your compact, handkerchief, lipstick, and wallet. Not that you’ll need it; when you prance into Picadilly Circus on the tippy toes of your Summer Bucket pumps, some stone-faced gent will surely fall so hard head over your heels that he’ll insist on buying your beans. With a smoky, translucent heel and just a hint of jewel-tone color, these shoes say everything that needs to be said about how you expect to be treated– like a rare creature of beauty, a butterfly princess. And as a safety measure to prevent the poor chap from drowning in the deep expressiveness of your eyes, sport the triple triangle dangle earrings that point– rather indelicately, but it’s best to be direct– straight down. Ssshhhhhhhhhhh!

1. Aviation Dress 2. Riley Boater 3. Jolene Clutch 4. Pretty in Pink T-Strap 5. Anchor and Rope Earrings

Just like a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down and honey attracts more flies than vinegar, a wink and a smile gets you in the door more easily than all the huffing and puffing in China. Why does a wolf wear sheep’s clothing? Not to simply eat the sheep. The wolf wants to infiltrate and then eat the sheep*. Apart from the ease of capturing your prey in the privacy of its own home, however, the act of successfully dressing like a sheep has its own implicit reward. It’s fun to play pretend. So the next time you must go to a wedding, a funeral, a baby shower, an interview, or the courthouse, try pulling the wool over your claws and fangs and discover the cache of hidden delights to be found in blending in.

The Aviation dress from Dear Creatures, the brand that corners the market on Ridiculously Cute, is sweet personified. The cotton fabric is whisper-soft, the peter pan collar screams of innocence, the hemline is demure, and the breastplate panel of stripes in washed-out shades of grays and blues conveys only the slightest hint, as you take your place on the settee next to the vicar, that where you might really belong is in jail. Of course, the two archetypes that immediately come to mind when this dress is viewed are “Catholic Schoolgirl” and “1960′s Airline Stewardess”, but rather than lending itself to cosplay it is so modest, so excellently structured and tailored, that it has the innocent sense of a child applying her mother’s lipstick for the first time in an effort to look like Girl Bugs Bunny rather than coming across as anything bordering on actually risqué. In fact, if you witnessed anything risqué, you might have to reach into your Jolene clutch to retrieve your smelling salts (don’t let your unpaid parking tickets peep out of the interior zippered compartment). And speaking of peep, add a Little Bo to your ensemble with the Riley hat from Brixton. If anything in the whole world has the absolute power to distract people from noticing the Devil flashing in your eyes, it is the crisp, shady brim of a tightly-woven straw boater hat with a ribbon. And to keep your feet walking the straight and narrow, slip them into a pair of Pretty in Pink plush patent T-strap loafers. The only things that will be reflected on their shiny surfaces are your rosy cheeks and good deeds. For a final touch (it’s all in the details), anchor yourself to your saintly guise with a charming pair of earrings. And until you go in for your kill, remember to hold your pinkies out.

*Editor’s note: This is a generalization of a proportionately tiny genre of wolf folklore which we expanded and exploited for the sake of our artistic intent. The majority of wolf folklore around the world associates the wolf, as a totem, with warriordom, destruction and creation, pride, fearlessness, and a plethora of other anthropomorphic character attributes, both positive and negative but on the whole in accordance with and recognizance of the fierceness and indomitable wildness of the creature in nature. The association of the Wolf with deception and disguise is a derivative of Christian bible myths, which cast the wolf as a symbol of the devil. The “sheep” in these fables represent followers of Christianity, and the stories that illustrate a wolf donning the skin of a sheep, or, in the instance of the Brother’s Grimm interpretation of the Little Red Riding Hood folktale, a loved one, are to serve as a warning for Christians to be aware of the potential threat of a Devil in their midst disguised as one of their own. An afternoon may be interestingly spent pondering the trickle-down ramifications of this variety of religious paranoia over the ages, extending to the present day.

Little black dress, you are the best

You discreetly accentuate my two breasts.

You flatter and fit

All my bits

Whether I dance or rest.

You can be strapless or strappy or sleeved

With sequins or lace, you’re my black velvet steed.

You can nip in my waist

With alarming grace

You fill me with wanton need.

But it’s February, and I am so wicked broke

To buy a new pretty dress would be a joke.

Not to be rude

But I need food

Although to have you I would be stoked.

–Excuse me, what? You are on sale?

I can buy you and still eat my kale?

You’re another half off

The price that’s been chopped?

That’s better than nude Christian Bale!

Yes. Your eyes do not deceive you. Those boots are real. They are turquoise and they look like they are made from dragon skin and they are more comfortable than the womb. They are $145. Of course, they are worth every single penny. But how can you possibly justify buying them? Well. How many times have you heard someone say something like this?

“I never do anything for Valentine’s Day, it’s just a stupid Hallmark holiday designed to get you to spend money on stupid crap, it’s stupid capitalistic bull. I do nice things for my partner for no reason all the time, I don’t need a dumb holiday to let someone know how I feel.”

Ladies. Gentlemen. If you ever hear anyone say this to you, walk away from them, and let them die alone without ever again receiving a stupid, Hallmark-esque, capitalistic birthday or Christmas present. Everyone deserves a little extra love on Valentine’s Day, a little extra attention, a little extra reminder from someone special that says, “Hey! I just wanted to make sure you know that I think you are 100% absolutely GREAT!” However, sometimes there isn’t someone special, or else there is a someone but you know they might not be the type to really “get it”. Well, there really isn’t any reason why your special someone can’t be you. You know how hard you work, you know all the myriad ways you spread the love year-round, you know how great you are, and you know what you want. So make a date with your fine self, and don’t let yourself down by showing up like a scrub. Dress ta impress. This is you we’re talking about.

Get thee to the bathtub. Get hot, get steamy, take a scoop of Trillium Organics pink grapefruit body polish, and get smooooooooth. This all-over exfoliant leaves your skin shiny, moisturized, glowing, and absolutely begging to be touched. I recommend you oblige. When you have satisfied yourself, a spritz of perfume should be applied before you dress. Perfume should only ever be applied when completely nude or it loses its magic. And it doesn’t get much more magical than I ♥ Unicorns EDP, the popular scent from the small, independent New Jersey-based company A Beautiful Life. Everyone who smells it has a different scent experience; it has been reported to carry notes of pomegranate, bubble gum, jasmine, frankincense, vetiver, and Pez.

The dress you don should be irrefutably feminine, wildly flattering, flirtatiously sexy, and ridiculously comfortable.  I mean, what else is a cotton jersey, candy-pink pinstripe dress with peekaboo cutouts in the front and back and a generously full circle skirt for if not for walking by a mirror and saying “Oh hey girl, heeeeeyyyyyyyyyy!” So don’t even think about covering it up unless it’s with an equally spectacular garment like a full-skirted, chocolate-box-red trench coat with a chunky, seventies-inspired lapel and cuffs to match. Accessorize with in-your-face Valentine’s themed earrings that whisper “Please be mine!” every time they graze your cheek, and give yourself a promise ring so you remember to always keep your vow to never blow yourself off. And then, then you put on your shoes.

These. Shoes.

There has never been a boot as spectacular as this boot. Its existence is a masterful portrait of the blissfully harmonious marriage of function and design. It is squealingly comfortable. The chunky, stacked 2″ heel offers just enough height to give your legs and tush a boost without sacrificing a sliver of wearability. The zipper that runs up the back of the ankle is thick, no-nonsense, badass, and allows for a trimmer ankle silhouette than would be possible if the boots were slip-on. Adding to the flattering lines is the sharply dipping V-cut in the front, serving to elongate those sexy legs while allowing for a greater range of motion. The insole is soft, buttery leather that will mold to the specific form of your instep with wear, and the outsole is— I need to remember to breathe— the outsole is a velvety explosion of perfectly formed little leather fangs that meld together to form a swath of texture reminiscent of a seraphim’s wings or a baby dragon’s scales, bathed in an intensely pigmented shade of violently rich turquoise. Miz Mooz calls it “ocean”. I call it “When I look at this color I can see the love of all my unborn children unfolding like an origami sunset in all directions for infinity, embracing the universe with incomprehensible acceptance and light”. Now that’s a feeling you can capitalize on.

Helloooooooooo longer hemlines! We are super excited about you. I’ll tell you why: because we’re grownups. We have jobs, we are responsible for all kinds of things, we command respect, and we prefer the way a knee- or calf-length skirt mysteriously swishes around and clings to our lovely legs far more than we liked the way the seat of the bus clung to our buttcheeks when we attempted to do something so foolhardy as to sit down while wearing one of the 12″ long practical jokes F21 likes to play on the youth of America. What did we ever do to them anyway? I would like to introduce to you the latest style icon over whom we have been unhealthily obsessing for months:

This is Faye Dunaway as Diana Christensen in the 1976 multi-Oscar flick The Network. Diana Christensen is the brazen, ambitious vice president of programming at the titular network. She’s brash, brass, bold, and has the biggest balls out of all her cigar-smoking, bourbon-swigging, gravelly-voiced colleagues. If you search through reviews and movie synopses, you will see her characterized in print as “frigid” and “cold” because of her obsession with ratings and her professional success and advancement, as well as because of the presumed detachment with which she treats her sexual affair with her elderly, otherwise faithfully married colleague. Because it was 1976, you are supposed to sympathize with this poor, otherwise married man and to view Christensen with aversion or something perhaps bordering on horror because of her cold ambition and reptilian treatment of personal relationships. At which point she stretches her impossibly slender arm through the screen of the television and slaps your face. Because this lady is red. Hot.

She is knife-edge thin, but not the kind of thin that you want to give a sandwich to because watching her move, it is completely apparent that she doesn’t need food except maybe coffee and tic-tacs. She vibrates with an impossible amount of energy for such a tiny being until you realize she isn’t tiny, she’s just compact. Her astoundingly trim frame is willowy but lean, supple, and elastic. She moves with balletic grace while still giving the impression that if you were in her path she would plow you down like a rhinoceros, and her posture is whip-snap straight, commanding, and ethereal. Her voice is loud, her gaze is direct, and her point of view is sharper than her chin and even her cheekbones. You could get a paper cut on those cheekbones. She is one hell of a presence. And her clothes.

She dresses in a femininely professional manner that has never been matched in class, attractiveness, style, appropriateness, authority, or panache by any person ever, living or dead.

And it’s so. Unbelievably. Simple. All you need is a blouse, a blazer, an understated but elegant pair of high heels, and a waist-high skirt that hits somewhere below the knee.

You can’t even overdo it because of its simplicity. You can’t kill this look. It’s error-proof. Because this ensemble isn’t about getting your clothes noticed, it’s about having something on that’s sharp and clean to serve as the silky, effortless backdrop for your undiluted ferocity and raw, bare-bones, uncompromising pursuit of whatever it is you want most.

“I want ideas from you people. This is what you’re paid for. And by the way, the next time I send an audience research report around, you’d all better read it, or I’ll sack the fucking lot of you. Is that clear?”

Doing. It. Right.

Have you ever thought about how great it would be to be a snake for a little while? Not in general or anything. Most aspects of being a snake are a little bit pathetic and kind of horrifying. You unhinge your jaw to swallow your food with the fur still on, you are either constipated or hungry nearly 100% of the time, no one likes you, you aren’t good at anything useful unless you count slithering as a marketable skill, and the only things that will cuddle with you are other snakes and socially crippled humans who have failed to establish any other identity than the pale, lurking creep who, on the rare occasion he or she can induce someone to visit their mother’s basement, ensures there will be no return visit by performing their party trick of snapping a mouse’s neck against a door frame with an inappropriate level of mouth-breathing glee and dropping the tiny corpse into the stinking fishtank barely containing the corpulent, coiled body of the miserably overfed animal and only other creature who truly understands how much its owner loves ICP. But the shedding. Oh, the shedding. Exfoliating is my sixth favorite thing to do. If shedding your whole skin off to reveal a shiny new layer of fresh skin is as fun for a snake as it is for me to peel a sunburn, then I want to be a snake for a day so I can SLOUGH. But I can’t. No one can. No big deal, we’ll just take it to a metaphorical level. THAT’S RIGHT, WE’RE HAVING A HUGE SALE!

The sale starts Friday morning. It will continue until the merchandise is GONE. We recommend not putting it off though because the pickin’s are awesome and we won’t be marking anything down further as the pickin’s get slim. What is going on sale? Anything we’re sick of looking at. We just started seeing our Spring inventory start to roll in and we want to make room for the fluorescents, the brights, the florals, the nautical stripes, the pinks and greens and yellows and blues. If you have any scratch left over from your holiday shopping, this is the place to come. Trust me, you want this stuff. We want to get rid of it. And at 30-70% off, you can’t afford not to take it from us. Sssssssssssee you Friday!

The older you get, the harder it is to swallow the holidays. Sometimes there is just too much holiday opulence, and you start to wake up in a cold sweat from nightmares of being suffocated in a giant crystal goblet filled with a paste made of pub cheese and glitter, and the last thing you see before you die is the grotesque refracted image of a strange man in red pajamas teaching your children a deeply flawed moral system based on material reward and mythical punishment. It’s the greed, it’s the excess, but mostly it’s the disposability of it all. Wrapping paper, tinsel, ribbons and bows, candy wrappers, by January 2nd it becomes garbage. All of it. The sparkly peppermint lip gloss, the nutmeg-marshmallow-scented body spray, the tree. GARBAGE. The Spirit has a shelf life and once that expiration date passes by, it smells. In order for your holiday apparel and bath items to be sustainable, they can’t be holiday-specific. When I was in the fourth grade, I received 3 pairs of thick wool socks. I still have one of those pairs and wear them regularly. How? Well, they don’t have a rhinestoned penguin patch ironed on to them. Keep the holiday spirit, just ditch the obvious.

These dresses are the ones. THE ONES. They’re totally festive! Red and green! Slip one of these on and you’ll look so appropriately fly at any holiday party… and at Valentine’s dinner, and at your sister’s graduation, and picking strawberries in July, and picking apples in September, and bobbing for apples in October, and eating apple pie in November, right back around to getting the apples of your cheeks pinched by creepy uncle Fred at the next family holiday party. Both have pretty-as-peaches fronts and look so fabulous peeking out from under your favorite cardigan; lose the sweater when the sun shines to reveal a back that wows. The green dress has a low V with button detail and the red one has a REALLY LOW V for blending out those fresh tan lines (please wear sunscreen).

The coat! With 3/4 sleeves and a removable luxurious fur collar, the coat is as perfect thrown over your shoulders on a crisp fall day as it is paired with velvet opera gloves on your way to see The Nutcracker. The green is precisely the shade of green that poets think of when they write the word “verdure”. It’s the green that brings good cheer and brings out the sparkle in your eyes. It’s just as much Joan as it is jolly. Bring your ensemble together with some shoes that have a real kick– the Birdcage or the Egyptian Princess. Equally exotic, exceptionally beautiful, and unequivocally disco, these will keep the twinkle in your toes year-round without looking like you scraped them together from the glittering tears of eight tiny reindeer. And I have to admit: I am such a sucker for holiday bath and products. I just finished the bottle of eggnog body wash my friend got me for Christmas last year. Iwannanotherone. For the rest of you who are a little less freaky, go for the blood orange. It’s festive without being too festive. The roll-on perfume is just lovely, fresh and citrusy and rich without being too sweet, and the coordinating Lip Quench is to Lip Smackers what that man you met in Florence is to the guy you dated in high school who had a collection of “Gwar hair” that he kept in ziploc baggies. It departs just the right amount of natural rosy color, and tastes and smells like a dream but not enough so that you wind up eating it. And since they’re made by Pacifica, you know that they’re all-natural, ecologically conscious, and a portion of the proceeds from your purchase will go to the Oceanic Society. Now that’s sustainable.