1) I Heart Unicorns EDP 2) Color Quench Lip Balm 3) Pacifica Roll On Perfume
4)Sea Salt Soap 5) Pine Mountain Soap 6) Cupcake Bath Bomb 7) In- Store Only 8) Sugar Scrub
“Beauty is only skin deep.”
The human skin is the largest organ in the integumentary system and is a complex construction of approximately 9 layers, depending on how you define “layer”. Five of these layers comprise the epidermis, which is the topmost layer of the skin, the one that you can touch*. Your body completely replaces your epidermis every 4-6 weeks, and humans shed dead skin cells pretty much constantly. Here is an interesting fact about skin: you know dust? Dust is comprised of approximately 95% dead human skin cells and 5% stardust. Here’s another one: your skin is thirsty. Your skin absorbs what you put on it into the inside of you. If you need proof of this, watch the episode of Baywatch in which a young lady is murdered by epidermal absorption: her killer injected her bottle of sunscreen with a topical poison, which was slowly absorbed into her bloodstream through her skin. Knowing this, we recommend thinking twice before you reach for some insidious purple bottle of freesia-scented phthalates.
We are here to offer you some lovely bath and body alternatives that will neither poison you nor force you to walk through a fluorescent, techno blaring purgatory with a median price point of $50. We are all-natural. We are lovely. And we start at $3.
I’m sure you’re all familiar with the Marilyn Monroe anecdote of, upon having been asked what she wore to bed, she replied, “Five drops of Chanel No. 5.” Anyone who’s smelled Chanel No. 5 will know that this is an absolutely insane amount of Chanel No. 5. One drop is enough to perfume 10 women, provided they want to smell like Chanel No. 5, which is less than likely. We recommend instead five drops of I Heart Unicorns by the small, independently owned and operated New Jersey-based bath and cosmetics company A Beautiful Life. Five drops of this is all the lemon, peppermint, pomegranate, bubblegum scent you need for your invisible “smell pajamas”, and it won’t make your sheets smell like the inside of a coffin.
We recently began carrying products from Pacifica, the ecologically conscious bath/body/perfume/candle company run by a husband and wife team out of California. We’re stoked. The Color Quench Lip Tint comes in six delicious flavors and provides sheer, natural color for every complexion, and is made from all-natural ingredients. Did you know that the average woman consumes 4-9 pounds of lipstick in her lifetime? This is why the content of the stuff you put on your mouth is important. What goes on, goes in. Going back to Chanel for a moment, Coco once said that a woman should apply her fragrance to “wherever she expects to be kissed.” I really like this. Not “wants” to be kissed. “Expects.” Pacifica’s roll-on perfumes are a treasure. In 9 versatile, fresh, non-perfumey scents and at $12 a pop, you really can’t afford not to have one. It’s small and portable so it can go with you everywhere, and the slim, roll-on design combined with reassuringly natural ingredients allows you to apply it exactly where you DO expect to be kissed. NUDGE NUDGE WINK WINK is what I’m trying to say here. I recommend the warm, musky Indian Coconut Nectar, a heavenly blend of vanilla, coconut milk, and vetiver. You just want to, well, eat it right up.
Before you apply any fragrance or cosmetic, however, you want to make sure you’re working with a fresh canvas. The last week of November was hell in my family’s house growing up, as we had to do a deep housecleaning before we put up any Christmas decorations. As my mother said, “We don’t decorate the dirt.” As an adult I have a much more relaxed definition of “dirt”: I watched passively as the ceramic frog my husband bought me for my birthday was appropriated into a hallway ashtray, and the Beistle Santa Claus I hung on the door is hanging out with the leftover skeleton from Halloween. However, my temple? Clean as a whistle. The Swedish Dream Sea Salt Soap is a deep cleaner, uber-mouisturizer, and leaves the freshest scent this side of 62°00 N, 15°00 E. Big Mountain Pine soap comes packaged in an irresistibly masculine/vintage box and imparts a surprisingly wonderful pine scent. It’s the opposite of every artificial pine scent you’ve ever suffered through. It’s the smell of putting your head inside a pillowcase full of magical, miniature Christmas trees growing in a magical, miniature winter wonderland where your pillow usually is. It’s a smell that’s fresh, strong, natural, and deeply comforting. On the more feminine side, Feeling Smitten bath products offer deeply adorable cleansing confections in the form of cupcakes. The cupcake bath bombs aren’t meant for eating, but if you did you wouldn’t die. They’re made from a short list of simple, wholesome ingredients and make you smell like a delicious cake. Upon immersion in water, the base dissolves and the frosting turns into an exfoliating scrub. For the gal on the go (aren’t we all?) they also offer the Cupcake Sugar Scrub. The Mexican Crumble Cake and the Lemon Custard scents are. To. Die. For. In that standing in the shop and sniffing the testers is such an obsession for me that if a gunman stormed in I would be so immersed in the fragrance experience I’d get shot before I could drop, roll, and take the son of a bitch’s Achilles tendons out with the box cutter.
For tastes inclined towards the less sweet side of life, I can’t shill the products we have from B. Witching Bath Co. hard enough. I just can’t. Yes, they’re all-natural, ecologically responsible, independently owned, blah blah blah. All the great marketing points about how their product is manufactured fall to the wayside when you get your hands on the products themselves. They smell so good. They smell so good. They just SMELL so GOOD. They smell so good because they genuinely smell exactly like what they are supposed to. No artificiality, no heavy stickiness, no cloying fume to work its way into your nasal cavity and develop into a migraine. The Rosemary Herb smells like freshly crushed rosemary needles. The Garden Sage smells just like, well, sage from the garden. Even Crackling Firewood, a scent that’s been horribly manufactured by other companies before with devastatingly terrible results, smells just like a fire. But the real revelation here, for me, was their Heirloom Tomato kitchen soap and candle. I’m a total smell person. Real into smelling things over here, this one. Apart from the scalps of a few dearly loved ones, my favorite smell in the whole wide world is tomato vines. And they’ve got it. By George, they’ve got it. NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS BEFORE.