Have you ever thought about how great it would be to be a snake for a little while? Not in general or anything. Most aspects of being a snake are a little bit pathetic and kind of horrifying. You unhinge your jaw to swallow your food with the fur still on, you are either constipated or hungry nearly 100% of the time, no one likes you, you aren’t good at anything useful unless you count slithering as a marketable skill, and the only things that will cuddle with you are other snakes and socially crippled humans who have failed to establish any other identity than the pale, lurking creep who, on the rare occasion he or she can induce someone to visit their mother’s basement, ensures there will be no return visit by performing their party trick of snapping a mouse’s neck against a door frame with an inappropriate level of mouth-breathing glee and dropping the tiny corpse into the stinking fishtank barely containing the corpulent, coiled body of the miserably overfed animal and only other creature who truly understands how much its owner loves ICP. But the shedding. Oh, the shedding. Exfoliating is my sixth favorite thing to do. If shedding your whole skin off to reveal a shiny new layer of fresh skin is as fun for a snake as it is for me to peel a sunburn, then I want to be a snake for a day so I can SLOUGH. But I can’t. No one can. No big deal, we’ll just take it to a metaphorical level. THAT’S RIGHT, WE’RE HAVING A HUGE SALE!
The sale starts Friday morning. It will continue until the merchandise is GONE. We recommend not putting it off though because the pickin’s are awesome and we won’t be marking anything down further as the pickin’s get slim. What is going on sale? Anything we’re sick of looking at. We just started seeing our Spring inventory start to roll in and we want to make room for the fluorescents, the brights, the florals, the nautical stripes, the pinks and greens and yellows and blues. If you have any scratch left over from your holiday shopping, this is the place to come. Trust me, you want this stuff. We want to get rid of it. And at 30-70% off, you can’t afford not to take it from us. Sssssssssssee you Friday!