Little black dress, you are the best
You discreetly accentuate my two breasts.
You flatter and fit
All my bits
Whether I dance or rest.
You can be strapless or strappy or sleeved
With sequins or lace, you’re my black velvet steed.
You can nip in my waist
With alarming grace
You fill me with wanton need.
But it’s February, and I am so wicked broke
To buy a new pretty dress would be a joke.
Not to be rude
But I need food
Although to have you I would be stoked.
–Excuse me, what? You are on sale?
I can buy you and still eat my kale?
You’re another half off
The price that’s been chopped?
That’s better than nude Christian Bale!