1. Aviation Dress 2. Riley Boater 3. Jolene Clutch 4. Pretty in Pink T-Strap 5. Anchor and Rope Earrings
Just like a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down and honey attracts more flies than vinegar, a wink and a smile gets you in the door more easily than all the huffing and puffing in China. Why does a wolf wear sheep’s clothing? Not to simply eat the sheep. The wolf wants to infiltrate and then eat the sheep*. Apart from the ease of capturing your prey in the privacy of its own home, however, the act of successfully dressing like a sheep has its own implicit reward. It’s fun to play pretend. So the next time you must go to a wedding, a funeral, a baby shower, an interview, or the courthouse, try pulling the wool over your claws and fangs and discover the cache of hidden delights to be found in blending in.
The Aviation dress from Dear Creatures, the brand that corners the market on Ridiculously Cute, is sweet personified. The cotton fabric is whisper-soft, the peter pan collar screams of innocence, the hemline is demure, and the breastplate panel of stripes in washed-out shades of grays and blues conveys only the slightest hint, as you take your place on the settee next to the vicar, that where you might really belong is in jail. Of course, the two archetypes that immediately come to mind when this dress is viewed are “Catholic Schoolgirl” and “1960’s Airline Stewardess”, but rather than lending itself to cosplay it is so modest, so excellently structured and tailored, that it has the innocent sense of a child applying her mother’s lipstick for the first time in an effort to look like Girl Bugs Bunny rather than coming across as anything bordering on actually risqué. In fact, if you witnessed anything risqué, you might have to reach into your Jolene clutch to retrieve your smelling salts (don’t let your unpaid parking tickets peep out of the interior zippered compartment). And speaking of peep, add a Little Bo to your ensemble with the Riley hat from Brixton. If anything in the whole world has the absolute power to distract people from noticing the Devil flashing in your eyes, it is the crisp, shady brim of a tightly-woven straw boater hat with a ribbon. And to keep your feet walking the straight and narrow, slip them into a pair of Pretty in Pink plush patent T-strap loafers. The only things that will be reflected on their shiny surfaces are your rosy cheeks and good deeds. For a final touch (it’s all in the details), anchor yourself to your saintly guise with a charming pair of earrings. And until you go in for your kill, remember to hold your pinkies out.
*Editor’s note: This is a generalization of a proportionately tiny genre of wolf folklore which we expanded and exploited for the sake of our artistic intent. The majority of wolf folklore around the world associates the wolf, as a totem, with warriordom, destruction and creation, pride, fearlessness, and a plethora of other anthropomorphic character attributes, both positive and negative but on the whole in accordance with and recognizance of the fierceness and indomitable wildness of the creature in nature. The association of the Wolf with deception and disguise is a derivative of Christian bible myths, which cast the wolf as a symbol of the devil. The “sheep” in these fables represent followers of Christianity, and the stories that illustrate a wolf donning the skin of a sheep, or, in the instance of the Brother’s Grimm interpretation of the Little Red Riding Hood folktale, a loved one, are to serve as a warning for Christians to be aware of the potential threat of a Devil in their midst disguised as one of their own. An afternoon may be interestingly spent pondering the trickle-down ramifications of this variety of religious paranoia over the ages, extending to the present day.