Up, up, and away! Of all the dress-up games you can play, 1960’s airline stewardess really takes the cake. It’s fun, it’s crisp, and it knows how to be playful and sexy without being skanky. And by appropriating the evocative garments and accessories showcased above to live out your fly fantasy, you don’t have to even glance at the ugly reality. For a short time in your 20’s, didn’t it occur to you that airline stewardess would be the perfect job? Your life would be full of glamorous travel, for free! You’d get to stay in hundreds of foreign cities, for free! You’d get to be on the move and meet exciting people every day– and get PAID to do it! Then when you seriously consider it, you realize that maybe if you’re going to be in customer service, you don’t want to do it thousands of feet in the air in a metal box from which you cannot eject the unruly passenger whose parents failed to effectively teach him, “Don’t touch women’s bodies unless they invite you to,” while wearing pleated-front khaki pants and a polo shirt, never being able to enjoy the cities you travel through outside of airports and cereal box hotels, and getting what little sleep you are permitted in a strange bed every night. Like the medieval princess or the G.I. Jane, airline stewardess is a job that has a much more rewarding fantasy life than its tremendously strenuous counterpart in reality. And, all together now, how do we manage to indulge our flights of fantasy while not interrupting our very busy, very practical lives? WE DRESS THE PART!
The Sweet Caroline Dress is a one-piece wonder, a jet-setting uniform in vibrant orange, white and blue that demands of you to stand at attention and put your best foot forward. It is impossible to not stand up straight in this dress. It’s like wearing a good grade. Oh, you put this dress on? You get an A+. Head of the class. FIRST class. You’re thinking, “Sure, it’s wicked cute and everything, but is it really that special?” Yes, it is. Fasten your seatbelt. See, it has two pockets. Not just one. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but most women’s garments manufactured after 1990 that make any effort to have a breast pocket do it by gluing on one flaccid little square in a randomly awkward place and farting it out into the world where millions of young, unsuspecting American women find it and come to believe that that is as good as a pocket gets. No. No, no, NO. These are pockets. Slightly more diminutive than the breast pocket on a menswear garment, these little guys are still big enough to functionally hold a chapstick, a lighter, a handkerchief, a something. And there are two. This is important. Because with two of them, you get two sets of that smart contrast detailing, and you get symmetry. Human beings subconsciously love symmetry. When humans subconsciously love the symmetry of your breast pockets, you might find that they will be subconsciously nicer to you as well. They might subconsciously hold the door for you, or remember to say please, or give you a raise. And you thought fashion was frivolous.
A 1960’s airline stewardess always looks impossibly pulled together. It’s actually quite possible to look very pulled together, and much easier than you would suspect. Remember matching? You get a lot of talk about “coordinating pieces” and “mixing textures and patterns” these days, but the idea of matching has been brushed to the wayside. Take advantage of this, and be the one person in the cacophonous crowd who really looks like she gets it. Put the Barelles on your feet and they’ll give you a beauteous retro vibe along with the comfort of a platform, while their Florida orange hue sweetly ties in with your tangerine secretary’s bow.
We like to travel light, and there’s nothing better for it than the classic mini explorer from Pan Am. It fits everything you need, nothing you don’t, and matches your dress more perfectly than a free upgrade. The speedy satchel shape is perfect for holding at the end of one swinging arm while you wave goodbye to your Parisian lover with the other.
To accessorize, keep it clean and simple. Traveling is best when kept as fuss-free as possible. One ring. One ring to rule them all. Consider it your engagement ring to the clear blue sky, and straight as an arrow, fly, fly away.