Hello friends, this is your resident bloggess/amateur astrologer, back for another semi-annual #queenofheartsbabe astrology forecast! Tuesday’s New Moon in Taurus, in combination with our recent gloomy weather, has brought out the reclusiveness in all of us – this makes necessary deeds (i.e. socializing & shopping), rather difficult. Thankfully, it is almost Gemini Season, which will coax all of us out of hermit mode and into the sunny streets!
Astrological shenanigans aside, we all made it through this year’s tumultuous winter, and that is an accomplishment no matter what your sign! Find your signs below and treat yourselves to the following items, brought to us directly from the cosmos:
A very wise Aries friend of mine once described their sign as being “the equivalent of a Saturday night”. Quite on spot-on, I’ve gotta say. Fortunately for you Saturday Night dwellers, this slick, hearty, and red hot canteen can hold an entire bottle of wine. Also use with water, if you’re feeling experimental.
Taureans, you are a bunch of undeniably charming walking contradictions! You love nature, but you also hate leaving the house. You love food, but your ideal delivery scenario is one which involves food being delivered directly to your bed. This luxurious amethyst geode necklace is a slice of nature in an accessory as glamorous as you!
These earrings are spunky, a great conversation starter, and have one chain to represent each of your fifty personalities. A steal!
A receptacle for all your most important carry-on items and emotional baggage.
We get two because I love us, and also because these two complimentary items are amazingly affordable! Retina-smashing shades of pink are a tried and true method of making yourself the star of every show this summer. As a bonus, this nail varnish contains reflective glitter specks, catering to our universal love of reflective surfaces.
Sweet Virgos, we all need rest, even you. Bless your perfectionistic hearts.
This one or two-person umbrella is guaranteed to fulfill your craving for love and romance. Also, if you purchase two of these and hold one upside down in each hand, it’ll kind of look like the Libra scale symbol. Eh ehhhh!
Not to stereotype, but literally every Scorpio I have ever come across is just a little bit (or a lot) goth, which is a positive attribute! You all have a signature edge – use it to promote local artists, such as the lovely Joseph Aaron Segal for Pretty Snake, whose original print is featured on this skirt.
Sag pals, you are hot, cold, unpredictable, and possibly the epitome of Edgy. This one-of-a-kind dress is all of that and more – it includes warm colors, cool colors, unpredictable lines, and even triangles! While the print is wonderfully chaotic, the silhouette is cool and collected, like you can be, sometimes.
Look and feel like a Wall Street Professional in these classically slick, Don Draper-esque sunglasses!
Because you deserve nothing less than a state-of-the-art pencil set to help you waste the summer away writing state-of-the-art conspiracy theories.
Pisces, you all are a bunch of flouncy, floaty flower children, and you deserve a dreamy top in which to live your wildest daydreams. The Chaima possesses all of these qualities and more, and is the most gorgeous color!
And that is all for this semi-annual astrology forecast, #queenofheartsbabes. It has been such a joy and an honor to deliver your shopping destiny to you! Good luck, cosmic queens.